When you take care of yourself, is it a special occasion? Or an everyday event?
“Is she serious? Every. Day?? There’s no way I can take care of myself daily.”
‘Sound familiar? If so, I’ve got good news: there’s a way. I’ve worked with incredible, powerful, productive, supercalifragilisticexpialidociously-busy women. Breastfeeding-on-demand moms. Twin moms. Moms juggling career and charity work and 26 more things. I’ve never seen a schedule that I couldn’t find some hidden self-care time in.
The problem is that we’re more focused on the “time” for our practice, but less on the attention that we bring to it.
And — you guessed it — the latter is where the gold is buried.
To find it, first drop the focus on time. Stop trying to “fit it in.” Instead, just pay attention to something that feels good for a few seconds (even if you’re just at a stop light). It can be your breath, your little one’s laugh, the flavor of your cappuccino. Feel it more fully than usual. Just as with a good relationship, notice the details. And notice a little-known secret: that IS self-care, right there.
We pay the most attention to the experiences that stick. And the “sticky” experiences are the ones that shape us.
When you spend less time focusing on your lack thereof, you open the possibility for using the time that you do have. You drop the disappointment around what you don’t have, and start to see what’s in front of you.
The moments may not be as obvious as they were before you had kids. Maybe not be as plentiful, or as restorative as a full day to yourself. But they are totally, absolutely, possible to find. It’s just up to you how to spend them.