There are no words.
Every woman can feel more centered and supported with the right self-care rituals. Especially during some of the hardest moments, like loss of a child during pregnancy or postpartum (or the hope of having one).
There are countless websites and resources devoted to healthy pregnancies. But there’s little mainstream info out there about miscarriage, infertility, and losing a baby during or after birth.
If this is your experience, then you know, better than anyone, it’s an impossibly painful topic. I’m glad you’re here, though, because that means there’s a part of you searching for healing. And the search is where it starts.
I’ve been helping mothers make the new baby transition for the last 10 years (and done it myself twice). But, full disclosure: my skill set is limited when it comes to perinatal loss. I am not a bereavement doula or grief counselor. I have never faced infertility or lost a child. I’ve helped guide clients through many different types of trauma and transition, but only a handful of them process this type of loss.
Still, one thing is for sure if you’re going through this: your self-care is 100% critical to your ability to acknowledge, move through, and heal as much as you can from the heartbreak.
So, what exactly is self-care in the middle of loss? A lot different than you may have ever been told.
It’ll be less manicures and hot sips of tea (although that may be part of your plan) and more like getting through each day any way you can.
It’s grief, gentleness, letting it out, letting it go, holding on to what matters, celebrating your baby’s moments of life, and loving yourself through all of it.
It’s resilience building of the highest order.
Though our content here is limited until we can offer support specifically for mothers who experience these feelings of deep loss around pregnancy and/or postpartum, I offer some favorite resources below.
You are lovingly invited to stick around and learn all the self-care things we share, but know that there will be many mentions of babies and small people. Only you know if you are ready for these references.
When the time is right, I hope this site helps you start a new self-care journey.
You’re not alone, you can do this, and your care is the key.
A Few Resources for Mothers Experiencing Perinatal Loss:
Healing Hearts has an incredible, comprehensive list of resources (with summaries for each) , as well as general grief information, for anyone dealing with perinatal loss. Affiliated with Earth Mama® Organics and First Candle, they offer counseling services available 24/7 at 1-800-221-7437.
Connect & Breathe is a nonjudgmental, after-abortion talk line, and a welcome resource if you find yourself lost in the hundreds of “helpful” resources for post-loss grief that don’t include post-abortion emotions, though they are often extremely complex and hard to process. Call 866-647-1764 (T, W, Th, Sat).