There are no words.
Welcome to Ritual Care, mama. I’m Kelly, and I believe that every mother can feel more supported, confident, and resilient, with the right self-care rituals… especially during some of the hardest moments in life, like loss of a child during pregnancy or postpartum (or the hope of having one).
There are so many websites and resources devoted to healthy pregnancies, but there’s little mainstream info out there about miscarriage, infertility, and losing a baby during or after birth. If this is your experience, then you know, better than anyone, this is an impossibly painful topic. But I’m glad you’re here, because that means there’s a part of you searching for healing. And the search is where it starts.
I’ve been helping mothers make the new baby transition for the last 10 years (and done it myself twice). But, full disclosure: my skill set is limited when it comes to perinatal loss. I am not a bereavement doula or grief counselor. I have never faced infertility or lost a child. I’ve helped guide clients through many different types of trauma and transition, but only a handful of them process this type of loss. Still, one thing is for sure if you’re going through this: your self-care is 100% critical to your ability to acknowledge, move through, and heal as much as you can from this chaos.
So, what exactly is self-care in the middle of tragedy? A lot different than you may have ever been told. It’ll be less manicures and hot sips of tea (although that may be part of your plan) and more like getting through each day any way you can. It’s grief, gentleness, letting it out, letting it go, holding on to what matters, celebrating your baby’s moments of life, and loving yourself through all of it. It’s resilience building of the highest order.
Right now, Ritual Care’s content is limited mainly to the traditional transition into motherhood, so until we can offer support specifically for mothers who experience these feelings of deep loss around pregnancy and/or postpartum, I offer some favorite resources below. You are lovingly invited to stick around and learn all the self-care things we share, but know that there will be many mentions of babies and small people. Only you know if you are ready for these references.
When the time is right, I hope this site helps you start a new self-care journey. Here are 3 ways to begin…
(1) Sign up for free rituals each week, in our weekend newsletter (below) (2) dive into the Sanctuary, our online self-care studio for programs and private coaching with me, or (3) read and listen to the latest Trends & Topics.
Wherever you choose to spend your precious me-time moments, enjoy your self-care session on the site today. You’re not alone, you can do this, and your care is the key.
A Few Resources for Mothers Experiencing Perinatal Loss:
Healing Hearts has an incredible, comprehensive list of resources (with summaries for each) , as well as general grief information, for anyone dealing with perinatal loss. Affiliated with Earth Mama® Organics and First Candle, they offer counseling services available 24/7 at 1-800-221-7437.
Connect & Breathe is a nonjudgmental, after-abortion talk line, and a welcome resource if you find yourself lost in the hundreds of “helpful” resources for post-loss grief that don’t include post-abortion emotions, though they are often extremely complex and hard to process. Call 866-647-1764 (T, W, Th, Sat).