Ever been working on something for months… and then just have it all fall apart? Well, happened to me recently. It was no one’s fault, no one specific thing, no “wrong” decision. Sometimes things just happen… or they don’t. Sometimes, things just don’t work out.
This has totally happened to you too I’m betting – because it’s happened to ALL of us! Maybe it’s a job you didn’t get, or a project you loved that fell flat, or a heartbreak that shattered your spirit. The natural cycle of our existence is birth, life, death, rinse and repeat. Things will burn to the ground. (Total buzzkill, I know.)
The most important question to ask after this happens is: what do YOU do now?
My answer is always self-care in some form, because it’s the main ingredient for more resilience – and therefore, peace. Taking care of my body, and letting others take care of me. Being gentle, eating chocolate cake, or sleeping snuggled up next to my daughter. Venting to my mom or husband or best friends. Expanding into the experience. It isn’t always easy, and wasn’t always my choice – I used to retreat. Hard. I’m a self-isolator by default, so this can feel good – and I still use it. But now that I’m older, I don’t drown in it. I don’t shut people out. I softly close the door, heal with compassion, and resurfance. I don’t get lost in the low.
Because there is always light.
And let me tell you, the light did pour in for me. Things turned around. I went to my favorite organic market store, and ate cereal with my small people. I got a warm hug from my cleaning woman (the guardian angel of my home happiness). I walked through a nearby village, and grabbed lunch at the local cafe, sunlight streaming in on my bare shoulders. I chose ease instead of holding on to the crap leaking into my life (and if you’re a mom, and you’ve got a baby in diapers, you know I mean that quite literally).
By seeing the simplicity in what brought me joy, in all these normal, daily activities, made me realize that I must be doing something right after all. My resilience bank was strong enough to survive the earlier falling apart.
Here’s a mindshare self-care practice to get your resilience juices going:
- Find a spot to just. be. still. for five minutes.
- What are you holding on to that you could let go of? (You don’t have to! Just notice the option.)
- What do you do when things fall apart?
- In the hard, tired moments, how do you choose to take care of yourself?
- And if you don’t, consider this a gentle reminder that you can.
Now, take THAT energy and go forward!
Check out my free Ritual Care Kit to help you add more tools on your belt for building up your resilience bank.
