Asking for help DOES NOT come naturally to most of us.
Because we want to look like we’re coping. That we’re these magical unicorn mamas who always have their sh*t together all. the. time. Asking for help might break the illusion of perfection we’ve created for ourselves, and we certainly don’t want that. Lose face? You’ve gotta’ be kidding me.
We all have barriers when it comes to asking for help. Wanna know what they are?
- We don’t know who to ask for help
- We don’t think anyone else can do it the way we want it done
- We don’t want to bother anyone
I go into (MUCH) more detail in Episode 132 of the podcast, but can we touch on point 3 for now?
We don’t want to bother anyone. Have you heard me speak about ‘the choir’ before? It’s a term (gifted to me from my teacher, Maria Sirois) that describes my circle, squad, tribe.
Your “choir” is more important than ever right now.
The other day my daughter accidentally called my best friend, and there’s a 9 hour time difference between us. It was three or four o’clock in the morning, and she answered. I didn’t even know that this happened until later on when she sent me a message and said, ‘Are you okay?’. That’s the choir leader right there. You want those people in your circle.
You want people to whom you can say, ‘Actually, things aren’t so great…’, and ask for help.
Case in point: one of my friends sent me a message today, and she was like, ‘I can’t, it’s hard.’ And she was in tears. It was a perfect moment of vulnerability, authenticity, release, compassion, HUMAN CONNECTION.
Can’t we all use more of that right now?
It’s important to have those people who can go through that with you and for you to be able to be that person for them, for them to be able to be that person for you, and to know that the next day is probably going to be better.
Who do you ask for help? Create your choir, create your circle, whatever you want to call it, and try to schedule times with those people for emotional support. That will help to give you resilience for the physical things that you can’t necessarily get help for right now.
It really is okay to ask for help, in whatever form you need it in right now.